Shattered

Am laying on my bed

Missing you diligently.......Like its my job

Am bored as hell nothing to do

I hate feeling this pathetic so i plug in my earphones 

Oh my lovely Rock playlist, should definitely take my mind of you

But beneath all the loud drums and guitars i still wished u where here beside me 

I could smell your perfume, still reminiscing about the soft touch of your lips

I cant take this any more, am so angry at myself i could literally pull my hair out

Until finally i get up from my bed, Got all dazzled up and got into my car

Started driving without a destination, but who am i kidding my heart was the compass

As i slowly found myself parking in your garage , i felt sick * Sigh here we go again*

You this obsessed Bitch>>>I thought to my self , but am here already so what the heck.

I rang the door bell a few times no one answered so i opened the door as i noticed it was unlocked

Got upstairs and just stared at the couch we had our first kiss and smiled to myself. 

My big grin suddenly turned around as I approached the bedroom.

I Suddenly felt so small, like i was in the middle of an avalanche waiting to be consumed

This cant be happening i said to be myself , they both turned around and looked at me

I could see the shock in his eyes, and i smiled and that was it. 

I headed to the door, he ran after me, i couldn't even look at him, never felt so betrayed in my life

We here supposed to be the bonnie and Clyde

He was my prince charming and i didn't care what Disney princess i was, as long as i had him.

I ran out of the house into my car, started the engines and drove off, Speeding like crazy.

Panting , heart racing i stopped the car, this wouldn't be my last day on earth

It sure as hell wasn't worth  it . 

Got back home, curled up on my bed, plug my earphones back in.

I Tried to cry..trust me i tried. but nothing came. 

And i only felt worse, Fucking cupid this should be the last time it ever gets me 

Or ill cut off its wings and shove it in its mouth

Now no amount of loud drums and guitars can take this sort of pain away

Why didn't i just stay in my bed, i thought to myself

I could have lived my life without knowing 

This was definitely the beginning of sleepless nights and trust issues. 

Guess i just lodged into Heartbreak hotel .......