This isnt some girls are from Mars, Guys are from Venus crap :P

 I have my life back "for now" so i can afford to start cooking up random things to put here, "like i always do" . i had to take a break from my NYSC camp, deadest place alive (Ondo state), No offence to people from there.
I had imagined it differently, the booze, the cute guys (that would make you want to dump your boyfriend), the cute girls (winks) , fun times basically, so you can imagine my surprise when i got there. The people i could relate with out of more than 2000 people where roughly a 5% , Then the GUYS , Let me not even get started . The guys i met there kinda gave me a new insight to things :P
 Any ways i decided to go another way today, *without ranting*, Its not like i don't have what to rant about, because i have a whole load of shit to complain about, but frankly I'm not really in the mood. I grow tired of my own rants sometimes, I've been awake since 4:am turning on my bed (singing Maroon 5's Never going to leave this bed) , and i have been trying to figure out what turns me off (in guys) obviously, I should probably join the bisexual wagon because every girl i meet nowadays has taken a ride on that , maybe more times than they should, but I'm not that liberal (sadly) :( , but nonetheless, guys really need to put a stop to some things that they do , I made a list of the things i dont want in a guy , it seems unrealistic but well...........................
My top relationship killers would be ...............................

1.Insecure boyfriend: The fella keeps asking you why you replied his bbms late or why you didn’t pick up his calls or when you get off skype he asks who you just skyped with I mean! Are you my boyfriend or my father?! Like c’mon this isn’t the 80’s we are allowed to interact with other guys (I suppose)

2. My boyfriend the Droner: The bf who calls but yet has nothing to say except whisper what he happens to think are sweet ‘somethings’ when they are actually “Sweetnothings”  in my poor sensible convo deprived ears. He’s the ‘hi boo I miss you. The last time I saw you I just wanted to kiss you so bad, you’re so sexy’ guy.

 He’s also the guy who makes you feel like your brain cells are depreciating per second. The ‘so what’s up guy?’ the ‘oh ok you’re eating so what you doing next?’ guy. The ‘so are you thinking about me?’ Guy. The guy you only agreed to date cause you were attracted to him and not because you knew him that well or even if you did at the time you were probably desperate to jump on the girls with boys bandwagon. (Arghh trust me ive been there…BORINGGGG)  The sooner you realise this about your relationship the sooner it ends! 

3. Help! My boyfriend is a Flipping Pervert: He is the ‘so what are you wearing now?’ douche. Or the send me pictures of you YONI(or whatever its called) I don’t care if we’re seeing each other, how many more flipping years have to go by before these monsters realise that this is NOT a seductive line. Neither is it complimentary in any form so sit your bottoms down and stop asking such questions you gentle pervs. If your girlfriend wants to send you pics I think you would’ve had em by now and wouldn’t need to keep asking :*

4. The washing galore guy: I guess it’s the general consensus in male land that if you praise a female she’ll be on her knees… Well it’s wrong. With a capital ONG. I for one am not a fan of constant compliments or mushiness. Calling me cubby cake will get you no points, calling me sweetums will get you dumped. ‘Hey beautiful’ will make me appreciate you cause of course compliments matter but when it starts to sound ridiculous as opposed to making me feel secure then we’re over.

5. Tranquility: If you are too accepting as a lad then I’m sorry our relationship will cease before it begins. I know this might sound silly but I love fighting. Lol it genuinely makes me happy. If our relationship is a smooth sailing boat on the atlantic ocean without any Pirate of the Caribbean like storms then it’s not gonna work out. I love me some rough arguments and at the beginning stages I hate to see people getting attached. It reaches into my inner robot and I power down immediately! Don’t be so blehh! Grow some balls and argue with me.

6. ) No passion/interest: He’s  not passionate about anything, even if it’s vampire diaries. No hobbies, nothing makes his blood pump or his heart race even if its country music, he takes no active interest in anything like ANYTHING at all. I don’t want that kind of man.

7) Body Odour
Please don’t have it. Don’t bathe in perfume either.  Thanks.

I have my own  personal issues, so its not like am perfect (but almost :D), s

          Obviously I like to believe I wear the pants in the relationship, but I do not want my boyfriend to be a passive bitch. Why on earth would you agree with everything I say? Tell me to shut up if you have to. Give me some ‘Love the way you lie’ type loving. There is no need to act like a fairy. If I wanted Edward Cullen, I would go and remake twilight or find a fairy or something. Be a man, there are also a bunch of things i would really like ....

Size Matters: I know everyone’s mind is going straight to the size of his penis but that is not what I mean. Well…that is not ONLY what I mean. I’m 5’10, so I require a guy who is at least 6 ft. I don’t know why but I can’t ever date a guy who is shorter than me. Ever. It pains me greatly when I see a 5’2 chick dating a 6’1 guy meanwhile 5’9s are asking me out. It makes me want to cry.

Perseverance: I am emotionally detached. It takes a certain level of patience and perseverance to get me intimate. I don’t pick up my phone, sometimes it takes me days to call back; I haven’t listened to my voice mail in a month. Things like this irk people and there have been few people who’ve been able to put up with it. But once I get to the level where I open up to you, you’ll beg me to stop calling you every day.

Personality: Big big deal. I bore easily. I have the attention span of a 10-year-old in an amusement park. Keep me entertained, make me laugh. Be able to keep up with me. Intellectually and what not. Be adventurous, trust me you’ll need it. Have drive. People have asked me “Would you date a guy without a car?” And I always say, it’s not the car that matters, it’s his car getting/keeping potential.

 Know when to shut up – can you not see that im in the middle of training my snail for the 100m race, I don’t care for what you have to say right now… go get snail steroids. No offense, but some men don’t know that sometimes I just wanna sit and be quiet, none of that ‘trying to connect on a spiritual level all the time so that we can read each other’s mind’ crap…

 Money – I cannot make a list without this, abi will I run my relationship on engine oil? Money is important, I don’t mind taking care of my man… paying for shit, as long as he plans to take care of me back in the near future..after all we are not married, its just a relationship, if im coming to your house, U pay my taxi, if youre coming to mines, I pay… or we can just meet halfway and nak at bar beach…

Unclean spirits – that same boy that was showing up to my office looking like they ripped him out from pages of GQ, that’s the same nigga I wanna date o, not 3weeks down the line you looking like you have hobo DNA.......... 

 Dont make me over 

You also have to accept the fact that i am a girl , i would have endless crushes, i have a disease ( Fine boy weakness) its sad but true, dont get youself all worked up, if im yours. Nothing can change that (Maybe if someone like usher comes into the picture) but if not you are safe :)

YOU MUST BE A MUSIC LOVER ITS COMPULSORY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 And Yes i am angry :|