Kryptonite

Silence , like white noise
You could hear every heartbeat in the room .
I finally gave up fighting, as my tears had their way with me.
As I couldnt bear the sight of you with someone else
Just the thought of it caused me pain
All I could do was sit there and give myself up
It seemed to hurt less but i knew it didn't , it hurt even more
Everything seemed to be tumbling down.

As I could see the shame in your eyes
And moved closer to me , as I shrugged away . As I lied to myself when the only thing I wanted was to be held by him .
As he wrapped his hand around my neck
And looked straight into my eyes
Like he was feeling my every thought
Like he knew he controlled my mind , body and soul
And I knew all he had to do was whisper those magic words
I desperately didn't want them to be enough but they were.

And at that moment I realized
I didn't let the tears get the best of me , because I was hurt
I did because when he looked at me, I felt the world crumble under my feet.
I did because I never thought I could feel "everything " for just one person
I cried because after many years of owning my body, mind and soul.
I finally knew what it felt to be mentally and emotionally invaded
I finally knew how superman felt when he was near kryptonite
My superhero days were over, because I had finally found my krytonite.
The only saving I needed was him saving me from him .
I only knew this was a brand of weakness I enjoyed.
The kind of drug that sets you on fire inside out, with every touch, stare and kiss.
A kind that would leave me in ruins,
But at that scary moment ,
I knew I never wanted to he strong again.