MELODRAMATIC

I'm having one of those nights
One of those nights you cant really describe what you're feeling
One of those nights you just want to curl up and drown yourself in the most depressing music on your iPod,
One of those nights where you just want to hide from the shame
One of those nights you feel nothing and everything at the same time
Well i seem to be having one of those right now , but the main question is what exactly am i hiding from , why do i claim to feel depressed, (when am actually not that sad) i just feel like lashing out.
Or maybe i just feel like exercising my fingers because i have WI-Fi and i want the world to know how bored i am
Or its probably because im aging in a few months and i be getting closer to death
Either way i know i feel something right now but i really cant figure out what it is...............

I Think i feel disappointed in myself because i have an exam in less than 3 weeks and if i keep going at this rate i may fail, (and lets not forget i get cranky when a fail )
Or the fact that i have an essay to write about trials and tribulations i have gone through in my life for my post-graduate studies and i haven't got shit to write about , i thought of writing about an unwanted pregnancy or a battle with a drug addiction but they all seem so cliché
So here i am trying to figure out what dramatic lies i could cook up in other to get into a good school and probably get my story heard,
I probably should do something that would make me feel totally unaccomplished , so id realize ow useless iv been so i could be a lil motivated
Or maybe its because i feel so drunk and high on the love crack pipe and these are just the after-effects
Or all this drama could just be because i lost my phone: :( (That would be sad)

Nothing has changed , iv grown to hate my world the more , ive also realized that i only come here to lash out when am bored , i don't have an actual talent for blogging (but then again who actually does, its not even an actual word )
My passions still remain the same :Music , Food and i have added a new one to the collection, the desire to speak French .
I've become obsessed with this certain *La langue de l'amour* (The language of love) , i have been taking a few classes for 2 months now and the more i know the deeper i fall in love, though my speaking is a bit rusty i could still survive in France :p, but then again nobody really cares (no they don't)

Nothing seems real any more, everything seems so fake and artificial , people cant say a sentence without telling a lie , i have a bi zillion friends and i could be in a room with them and feel totally alone and unheard.

All i need is an escape route from all this fake drama and depression :s