A Letter to God

Dear God, The past few days have been Hell, Never had to endure so much scrutiny and criticism in my entire life, i have been so confused lately and a lot of things have clouded my judgement i want you to restore me back, i don't know what but i just don't want to feel this way . Dear God apparently am rude and not compassionate, am not kind hearted and i have no fear or respect, its been really dark lately i have no where else to run to no one really gets me i don't blame anyone because you can never understand someone a 100%. laying on my bed listening to Break-even by The script.. Am not heartbroken or anything but i seem to find solace in sound and music and apparently they make me canal and worldly, but i feel like they have arms so i seek solace.  Dear God i'm not the most dramatic person i know, i don't take drugs, (probably too much information) i try to follow the 10 commandments but nobody is perfect i know i try but obviously not hard enough. i just need your help right now like really bad, i don't know what it is but i feel like am in a ocean and i'm swimming and trying really hard not to drown but it may only be a matter of time. Dear God i wish i could turn on and off my emotions at times, i feel the things am not supposed to , i don't acknowledge the things am supposed to, emotionally stagnant today and the reverse the next, might be a little stubborn at times, may expect too much from life and may break if i don't get it. I hope am not asking for too much but Dear God i just want you to guide me, protect everyone i love, protect the ones that i love but don't love me back, give me grace and help me conquer all my demons . Dear God its still February so there is still hope for this year all i want is to be the best i can be, i don't have a resolution or anything but i pray that all  i have in my head are accomplished...Most of all God, Keep me a Happy person.